Saturday, November 25, 2006

Some people have too little to do

It's been on the news recently that Trading Standards are threatening a company with legal action over the name of it's sausage product The Welsh Dragon Sausage!

Oh come on do they really think that Joe public would honestly think that a sausage would contain Dragon! Well apparently it's to help stop vegetarians mistakenly buying the product (even though the ingredients list states it contains pork), if those veggies don't have the strength to read the label maybe they need a bit of meat protein in their diet in the first place! Anyhow they're buying a sausage if they want to be vegetarian stay away from what is traditionally a meat based item. Anyhow why do vegetarians have products that claim to be just like meat in flavour and texture etc doesn't this defeat teh whole point of being vegetarian in which case just eat a steak for gods sake!

So watch out Yeti burgers or Unicorn ribs it could be you next!Having said that what is it to be next? Angel Delight having to state that no angels are contained in the product/ Kellogg Cornflakes having to remove the rooster from it's packet as no chicken is in it/Uncle Joe's Mint Balls renamed as Uncle Joe's balls aren't minty (I'd like to see them test that one!)/Fry's Turkish delight rebranded as Fry's Brummie Delight as it's made in Bourneville, Birmingham and not Turkey.

This brings out the worst in me I absolutely loathe the amount of unnecessary bureaucratic crap that goes on in the World. Yes I can see the point of only sparkling white wine from the champagne region of France being allowed to be called champagne, or stilton cheese coming from the traditional stilton regions, but EU laws stating that a banana can only be called a banana if it is so long and not too bent (it's supposed to be curved it's a banana, it's how it grows).
Trading Standards, EU directives, Health and Safety and most politicians and civil servants would be on my list of things I'd like to dump in room 101 and personally slaughter with a minigun in one hand, a rare steaksandwich in the other and cigar hanging out of my mouth!

Vive la revolution!

Saturday, November 11, 2006

Things I'd like to see

We went to a fireworks display the other day at Buile Hill Park (never been before and not really sure where it is, somewhere in North Manchesterish).

Anyway it was a huge gathering of people the park was packed, everyone heads turned up to the sky, ooohing and aaaahing at the firework display overhead.

This brings me to what I'd like to see:

Whilst everyone's heads are craning to the skies for the next 30 or so minutes, the local kids should shuffle about tieing all the shoelaces together.
Just imagine the awesome sight at the end as a crowd of a thousand more people all make a dash for the exit as the last bang goes off and all just topple over - I'd pay good money to see that, it should be in a film!