Thursday, March 29, 2007

Taggin' Weird

I was Tagged too!

I’ve been tagged from Canada . That’s even farther than Bognor Regis. Heck I think it’s too much pressure for me to handle, so I should ask K what the Hell he's playing at.

6 weird things I’ve done or still doing:
(1) Jumped round the apartment, making monkey noises and shouting baboon, whilst baring my derrier and slapping it till it's red (usually whilst Vics is on the phone).
(2) Answered the door to the Jehovah Witnesses wearing a priests collar and not much else.
(3) Had pictures taken of myself and Vics' cross-dressing brother, in just a pinny doing the housework in her stepdad's flat, while they were on honeymoon. Then printed all the pictures out and inserted them into every single frame in the flat.
(4) Cupped my balls, whilst thinking of things to put in this list. (It helps me concentrate, hence why I don't think much in public).
(5) Eaten insects.
(6) Gotten so wasted that I've woken up in a strangers bath, a field in Italy, the back seat of my car (even though it was parked outside my house).
(7) Slept in every room in my house (including kitchen, bathroom, downstairs toilet and shed), just because I could!
(8) Fallen asleep standing up, again just because I can.
(9) Entered 9 weird things in a 6 item list (I probably could go on, but Vics has told me to stop thinking/cupping).

6 people i'm tagging (whether you have been tagged or not!)
(1) K
(2) Vics
(3) K

I won't put this kind of pressure on anyone else, so 3's enough.........also I don't know that many other bloggers. So if you stumble across this and want to give it a go feel free, just leave me a comment so I can have a look.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Knock, Knock

Just spent the other night drunk in a pub telling bad was great.

Q: What's red and invisible?
A: No strawberries

Q: What do you get if you cross a sheep, kangaroo and a bag of cement?
A: A woolly jumper

But what about the cement?

It just makes it harder!

Q: Why did the Elephant paint his balls red?
A: So he could hide in the cherry tree.

Q: What's the loudest noise in the Jungle?
A: A Giraffe eating cherries.

Two televisons got married. The wedding was boring bur the reception was great.

Q: What do you call a female Chinese postal worker?
A: Mai-ling

Q: What's round and bad-tempered?
A: A Vicious circle

Just some of the crap I have to put up with on a night out! I love it!